keep your job

22 April 2010

Ok, I had to write on this topic because it's is driving me crazy thinking about it. I was listening to our local Christian radio station (104.7 the Fish Atlanta). They were discussing parenting, specifically a mom who has a 9-month-old still sleeping in the parents' bed. The question? Should she move the baby or keep the baby in their bed or something in between?

I turned up the radio, because I love to hear people's opinions on parenting and their reasoning. The DJs (Kevin and Taylor) were reading various suggestions that people had posted on Facebook. At a specific posting, they decided to chime in with their own thoughts. (This is where I should have known I was going to get "hot and bothered".)

Kevin (who has four kids of his own) stated that keeping your children in the bed with you creates a long-term dependence problem. One day your teens will have a hard time going to camp or sleeping away from home if you don't get them out of your bed as soon as possible. He read one post that stated, "It's just a normal part of babyhood. Remember it's temporary. Do what is right for you and your family - and remember it will pass all too quickly." He completely shot that down. He said, "Do whatever feels right? You can't parent like that. You need a plan to help your baby become less dependent on you." (reminder... the baby is 9-months-old!)

Then came the clincher. "I heard a great quote once that said 'The whole goal of parenting is to work yourself out of a job'."

I started yelling at the radio, "Lies, lies!" My daughter was laughing at me because this is so normal for me to yell at the television or radio when I strongly disagree.

The job of parenting is NOT to work yourself out of job. That is not practical, and it is not scriptural. The modern family is so disconnected because we start pushing our kids out the door before they ever arrive (shopping for babysitters and preschools). Families in countless other cultures sleep together and sometimes live together their entire lives. They assist each other in their jobs, raising children, and in times of crisis.

I could rant on and on about this topic, but I just want to make a two points.

• God wants us to be dependent on each other.
• God wants us to be dependent on Him.

Independence means "freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like, of others." This is not what I want for my children. My parenting goal is for them to need me and want me during our entire time on this planet. God privileged me with the job of parenting four amazing children, and I know that He never wants me to retire from that duty. Never! This is a job that I have to continually work at, learn more about, and be intentional daily.

Just a side note... all my kids slept with me and my husband till they were between 1 and 2 years old. They did leave the bed, and they did go to camp. Each one has matured into a self-reliant teenager that still is desperate for God's grace and my wisdom. Truly, I'm keeping this job!